Don’t ask what your mate can do for you! Instead ask what you can do to complement (not compliment or complicate) the “union”. In other words, list all the positive and negatives of each personality and analyze how the “union” will benefit–Remember, a negative may actually be a positive in many different situations. For instance, if you are an energetic go getter who is anxious to make your mark in the world; instead of being irritated with your slower, deliberate, calculating, longrange planning mate, be aware that the turtle actually won the race! If you are the dominant personality, it is really nice to have a mate who is supportive and offers encouragement instead of being jealous or competitive. Shared goals, opinions and struggles make life more interesting. Mutual respect, admiration and appreciation are necessary ingredients. Ideally, each person has special attributes and different interests that enhance the relationship. Allowing individual expression is the key to long-lasting associations. It is never a good idea to assume that your partnership will be like your parents, because your partner is not your parent!
When there are differences or disputes which may escalate and become heated, realize that this may be an opportunity to explore several unique options that will benefit both partners. Often we ignore or fail to recognize the special traits or talents that each person offers and may have to reorganize the individual responsibilities. Be willing to admit that you may be wrong sometimes in judging a situation without understanding all the facts and be willing to listen to another point of view and you can both become winners.
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